Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Secrets

We all have them, right?

Last night, I popped some Butter Lover's popcorn and finished it off with some 100 calorie chocolate cookies. I haven't shaved my legs in weeks, I can't remember the last time I actually used a razor. I hate clipping my own toe nails, I'd rather pay $25 to have someone else do it. I watch the Biggest Loser and cry because I really miss having a gym routine and kicking my own ass. I think I'm a good person. I also think I'm pretty. I just don't want to fix the things that are keeping me single. I hate my vagina about 80% of the time. I own too much porn, but it's only "too much" because I don't watch it. Sometimes, I'll pee and I won't flush the toilet, I hate to waste the water. I can't do a handstand or a cartwheel. I know exactly how many people I've slept with, but I don't know all of their names. If I masturbate in the morning, I'm tired for the remainder of the day. I pick my nose. Sometimes I wipe boogies on the bottom of bus seats. I find things wrong with boys, so much so that I can't get myself to even consider liking them. My morning routine consists of me pooing, naked. Sometimes I won't do my dishes for weeks, I'll just keep adding more soap and fresh water. I just farted.

2 comments:

DFV said...

I like to pop other peoples' pimples/blackheads. I always poop in the morning too! In fact, I poop a lot, like 3 times a day. I think I have to poop right now.

Lil' Nay said...

Well I have another blog where I write my secrets. I invited you to it before. I'll invite you again if you want!
PS the word verification for this comment is "harchir".
<3